QUESTION ❓
Assalamu Alaikum. Good morning, respected scholar. My younger sister's husband is financially comfortable, but whenever she asks him for money for her hair, henna, or other personal needs, he refuses to give her anything. Can she secretly take some money from where he keeps it to pay for these needs? Is doing so permissible? May Allah grant you good health.
ANSWER
❗️
Wa Alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullahi
wa Barakatuh.
The ruling on a wife taking money
from her husband's wealth without his knowledge depends on the circumstances,
particularly whether he is fulfilling his financial obligations towards her and
their children.
It is important to distinguish
between taking money for personal beauty expenses and taking what is necessary
to fulfil an unmet obligatory right.
1.
Can a Wife Take Her Husband's Money for Hairdressing and Henna?
If a husband willingly gives his
wife money for hairdressing, henna, or other personal expenses, she may use it
for the intended purpose, subject to any agreed conditions.
However, if he has not given her
permission to take his money, she should not secretly take it simply because
she wants to pay for hairdressing, henna, or other non-essential personal
expenses.
A husband's wealth remains his
property, and marriage does not automatically give either spouse unrestricted
permission to take the other's money.
Nevertheless, a husband should also
treat his wife with kindness and consider her reasonable needs within his
means. The absence of permission to take money secretly does not mean that a
husband should neglect his responsibilities towards his wife.
2.
What If the Husband Refuses to Provide Essential Maintenance?
The situation is different when a
husband who can afford to do so fails to provide his wife and children with
their obligatory maintenance.
Hind bint Utbah (may Allah be
pleased with her) complained to the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be
upon him) that her husband, Abu Sufyan, was miserly and did not provide enough
for her and her children.
The Prophet ﷺ told her:
Arabic:
«خُذِي مَا
يَكْفِيكِ وَوَلَدَكِ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ»
Transliteration:
Khudhī mā yakfīki wa waladaki
bil-maʿrūf.
English translation:
“Take what is sufficient for you and
your child, according to what is reasonable.”
Reference:
Sahih al-Bukhari, 5364.
This hadith establishes that a woman
whose husband unjustly withholds sufficient obligatory maintenance may take
what reasonably meets her needs and those of her children, within the limits
recognised by Islamic law.
However, this permission is not a
general licence to take any amount of money for any purpose. It concerns an
unmet financial right and is limited to what is reasonably sufficient.
The hadith does not automatically
permit a wife to take money secretly for hairdressing or henna merely because
her husband refuses to pay for those expenses.
Whether a particular personal expense falls within an obligatory right depends
on the circumstances and the relevant scholarly ruling.
3.
What If the Husband Provides Maintenance but Refuses Other Personal Expenses?
If the husband provides the
obligatory maintenance due to his wife according to his means and the
applicable Islamic ruling, but refuses to pay for additional personal expenses,
she should not assume that she may take his money secretly.
The better approach is to discuss
the matter calmly, explain her needs, and seek a mutually acceptable
arrangement.
If the disagreement concerns whether
a particular expense is part of her obligatory maintenance, a qualified scholar
can assess the circumstances. The answer may depend on the couple's situation,
customary expectations, the husband's means, and the relevant school of Islamic
jurisprudence.
4.
What Should the Wife Do?
A wife facing this situation should
consider the following steps:
- Discuss her needs respectfully.
She can explain why the expenses matter to her and ask her husband to
agree on a reasonable personal allowance.
- Distinguish essential needs from additional expenses.
Obligatory maintenance should not be confused with every expense a spouse
would like to incur.
- Seek mediation if necessary.
If discussions repeatedly fail, a trusted family mediator or qualified
Islamic scholar may help resolve the disagreement.
- Protect each other's property rights.
Neither spouse should assume unrestricted access to the other's money
without permission or a recognised legal entitlement.
The husband should fulfil his
financial responsibilities fairly, while the wife should respect his property
rights. Both spouses should seek solutions that preserve trust and mutual
respect.
Conclusion
A wife should not secretly take her
husband's money merely to pay for hairdressing, henna, or other personal
expenses that he has not authorised.
However, if a husband who can afford
it fails to provide obligatory maintenance, the hadith of Hind bint Utbah
establishes a limited permission to take what is reasonably sufficient to meet
that unmet right.
The distinction is essential: permission
to recover an unmet obligatory entitlement is not the same as permission to
take money for any desired expense.
May Allah improve the relationship
between spouses, guide husbands to fulfil their responsibilities, and help
wives safeguard the trusts placed in their care.
Wallāhu Taʿālā Aʿlam — And Allah
knows best.
Zauren Fatawoyi Bisa Alƙur’ani da Sunnah
ﺳُﺒﺤَﺎﻧَﻚَ ﺍﻟﻠَّﻬُﻢَّ ﻭَﺑِﺤَﻤْﺪِﻙَ ﺃﺷْﻬَﺪُ ﺃﻥ ﻟَﺎ ﺇِﻟَﻪَ ﺇِﻻَّ ﺃﻧْﺖَ ﺃﺳْﺘَﻐْﻔِﺮُﻙَ ﻭﺃَﺗُﻮﺏُ ﺇِﻟَﻴْﻚ
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